livejournal

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:51:59 GMT

is so so so dead.

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:41:06 GMT

i hate you. bye now.

Mon, 05 May 2008 18:41:09 GMT

it seems to be a continuous shitty cycle of restoration and loss. although no matter what i seem to do the loss never catches up.

seriously? FUCK YOU.

i wanted to tell you, what really happened, how do i explain this? how do i explain everything?

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 19:58:46 GMT

warning: this is probably super offensive if you are involved in some kind of organized religion. read on with caution.

the thing that gets me about the way i grew up is not the complete isolation from anyone but my little "church bubble", but the disgusting hypocrisy and mechanics of it all. i was not born simply as another jehovahs witness marrying-baby making-conversion machine. i was born with a fucking brain and the ability to think for myself.

while i don't disagree with everything in the religion, i also don't agree with most of it either. when i was around 3 or 4 my parents discovered the true religion and just like that my christmas, birthday parties, and trick or treating was over. i grew up in a house where i wasn't allowed to associate with anyone but people from church. but the only problem was no one wanted their kids to hang out with me.

rebel, rebel.....

this wasn't because i was on all sorts of drugs and i was dangerous. no no my friend, it was simply because i wanted a normal life. and i was bad association.

do you fucking understand what kind of things like "bad association" and terms like that do a persons self esteem?

i grew up being taught to have a healthy fear of god and respect, but i fucking feared him. i don't understand what kind of a god would create people with the ability of free will and human thinking and then punish them and all mankind allowing this shit hole of a planet to digress further and further into moral deprivation and decline.

most of my friends that are witnesses are married or getting married. most of them can't even drink alcohol yet because theyre not 21.

i cant live with someone telling me with to do all the time. thats why i moved out of my house. i also can't live day to day feeling like i am going to die because i don't worship the same god as my mother and god is going to kill me because i am not a jehovahs witness.

it's all based on loopholes and lies, im just glad i was born with a mind that works instead of turning into another blind soldier.

well im taking out my dagger, im holding it up to your throat

livejournal

i wanted to tell you, what really happened, how do i explain this? how do i explain everything?